| don't I hold you... |
[19 Oct 2005|10:50pm] |
Don't I hold you like you want to be held
And don't I treat you like you want
And don't I love you like you want to be loved
And you're running away
And what's your name
Like I'm in the way
Don't I hold you like you want to be held
Don't I please you like you want
And don't I love you like you want to be loved
And you're running away
Ad what's your name
Like I'm in the way
and wasting too much time
Don't I
Don't I hold you like you want
Don't I hold You
~Wheat
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|
| and so it is... just like it would be... |
[17 Oct 2005|12:19am] |
When they call your name
Will you walk right up?
With a smile on your face?
Or will you cower in fear
In your favorite sweater
With an old love letter?
I wish you would
I wish you would
Come pick me up
Take me out
Fuck me up
Steal my records
Screw all my friends
They're all full of shit
With a smile on your face
And then do it again
I wish you would
When you're walking downtown
Do you wish I was there?
Do you wish it was me?
With the windows clear and the mannequins eyes
Do they all look like mine?
You know you could
I wish you would
Come pick me up
Take me out
Fuck me up
Steal my records
Screw all my friends behind my back
With a smile on your face
And then do it again
I wish you would
I wish you'd make up my bed
So I could make up my mind
Try it for sleeping instead
Maybe you'll rest sometime
I wish I could
I wish I could.
--Ryan Adams
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[01 Oct 2005|10:50pm] |
i'm at the woo.
and i miss you.
i thought u were gonna pull thru.
too good to be true.
guess i'll do me
while u do u
peace boo.
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| the L word: "Likeyoualot" |
[28 Sep 2005|08:58am] |
|
JOSS STONE LYRICS
"Young At Heart"
You're wasting your time
Trying to tear us apart
You can't stop our plans
We were destined from the start
He [likesmealot] me
I [likehimalot] him
And even though were young at heart
You're the one in denial
Tired of creeping around when I'm craving for
His kiss
Whenever I'm lonely he is the only one
I miss
You say it ain't right but I think that you got it wrong
Its bliss
And I love him yeah yeah
I love him
He makes me go oo-oo-ooooo
When he looks at me
Oo-ooo-ooo
And it's plain to see
Nothing you can do-oo-ooooo
To discourage me
And I [like] him
I really [like] him
[Chorus]
My parents say I'm too good and that he doesn't deserve me
My friends think he's not cool enough so they'd rather desert me
My sister says her boyfriend has a brother and she'll introduce me
But I don't want him, no
I've got my man
There's nothing you can do-oo-oooo
To discourage me
I'm cool with my man's family
If you were in my shoes
You'd feel differently
But you're in denial
You're in denial
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| Epilogue |
[20 Jun 2005|11:45pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 awake |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Nickle Creek - A lighthouse's tale |
] |
so my first year of college at UMass ended just over a month ago. To sum it all up, I ended the second semester and my freshman year with a 3.8 GPA, 3.6 cumulitive GPA, a criminal record, an acquired taste for busch light and rubinov vodka, friends all over massachusetts and the U.S., a love for traveling, a knack for funneling, able to enjoy a good love story, dead broke, and longing for love. This year couldn't have gone any better... and i can't wait to see what this summer has in store for me. After tomorrow's final class of the Minors Program (also referred to as AA for kids who get arrested for stupid shit) i have been attending, i will be free of school work and more than ready for what is to come in July. Maine... here i come!
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| The Final Verdict. |
[11 May 2005|05:43pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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relieved |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Get on my level |
] |
Today was my arraignment. I didn't get much sleep last night because I was all nervous for court and excited about goin to New Jersey with James so needless to say when 7 a.m. rolled around I was exhausted. Leslie and I got to my car at 7:30 only to find that MY CAR WAS DEAD! It wouldn't even turn over...i was soo fucking pissed. I almost cried, because there is a HUGE fine if u don't show up for court. Anyway, God decided he loved me today and as i was frantically thinking of what to do two kids walked into the parking lot both wearing collared shirts and a tie. Obviously these kids were not headed to church at 7:00 a.m. on a wed. morning so i was just like "hey, are u going to court" they are like "yeaaah haha" ..anyway they gave us a ride and we spent the day with them in court from 8-3 in the afternoon. funny way to meet friends. the whole process sucked so fucking bad, i will NEVER get arrested again just got the sole fact of having to sit in that fucking court room again. anyway the judge gave us all the diversion program...which means i have to go to an Alcohol Class for 4 weeks, 3 hours a week and i have to complete this class within 4 months and pay $125 for it. fucking sucks but if i stay outta trouble for 4 months i have a clean record. sooo ya...thats my story. now i just need to sign up for the class in marlboro cuz that's the nearest one around me and somehow find a way to get to these classes without letting my parents find out. god i hate not telling my parents stuff :o/ oh well...off to jump start my car...let's hope it works!
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| Arrested. |
[10 May 2005|08:48pm] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
] |
sooo i got arrested last friday. legit, put in handcuffs, into the backseat of a cop car. amherst police suck the big one. anyway heres the story:
it's friday night, 6:30 p.m.. i'm all dressed up in black pants, cute shirt, hair all did, ready to go out for dinner in north hampton with the girls. first, we had to do a boozxe run though for the festivities that were to follow. leslie and i walk outta my building with 3 empty soccer bags and head down to the purple lot where my car was. we drive up to the horseshoe where we pick up matty p. & jema (both are 21 years old) and drive back to my building to get money from courtney. we leave JA and head to Liquors44 where matty p. and jema go in to buy two 24 packs of corona, a 6 pack of corona, & a handle of vodka. this was our liquor for the weekend, sam's birthday. so they load the shit in my car and i suggest matty p. drive's back but then we just said fuck it, i'll just drive. We get back to J.A., Matty P. & Jema grab the 24 packs, Leslie grabs my pink duffle bag (which is completely closed by the way) and they head into the building. I stayed in my car because the plan was, they were just gonna bring the alcohol up and then all the girls were gonna come down and we were gonna leave for North Hampton right from there. haha...cops thought otherwise. So they are walking in the building and an undercover cop comes over and asks for my I.D.. I give it to him, then i look in my rearview mirror to see another undercover cop escorting my 3 friends back to where my car was parked. I stayed in the car while the cops talked to them...assuming they were just going to tell us to pour out the alcohol considering the two 21 year olds were carrying it all. noooope...they tell me to get outta the car, they look in leslie's bag (which they are NOT allowed to do) inform us they have been following us since we walked outta the building. tell me and leslie that WE are being arrested. me for transporting, her for possession. cuff us...right out in front of everyone in broad day light in front of my building, put us in the back of the cop car and send us off to the police station. then when we got there, THEY ANKLECUFFED ME TO THE BENCH! i have never been in such shock in my life. at first i was scared and then i started to laugh. anyway, my night was ruined, they took all our beer, my friends came and dropped off bail money for me and then went and got ice cream in town while i was in jail, and all sam could do was bitch about not having any alcohol for her b.day. i have court tomorrow morning and HOPEFULLY they will tell me i need to do the alcohol class and pay $125 for it. sucks big balls, basically i gotta stay outta trouble all summer until my alcohol classes start. i'll update tomorrow with the verdict.
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| Blessings |
[25 Apr 2005|12:07am] |
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mood |
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thankful |
] |
i don't know where i would be in this life without my uncle bruce. i never thought the day would come when i would have to share him with someone else, but that day came almost two years ago, and i have been truly blessed because his wife is everything i could have ever wanted for him. i never thought i could deal with the idea of not being the number one girl in his life, let alone love the woman who stole him from me. then i came to realize how easy it is to love someone who can make someone YOU love, happy. my aunt kristin is one of the most loving and caring people i have met in my life. these two people deserve a child more than anyone in the world but unfortunately kristin can't bear children. it is to painful to sit back and watch these people who so badly want a child and who would make the best parents go through this heartbreaking process. brucey is determined to get her a baby...they are going to do everything in their power to adopt a beautiful baby, hopefully a girl :o) and possibly even two babies!! i was lucky enough to have just bruce growing up for 16 years of my life and kristin for the last two...this child is going to be so blessed to have both of them. and today when they confirmed that they were going to adopt, they also told me they wanted me to be the god mother of their child. i cried and cried, tears of happiness of course. i was lucky enough to have brucey as my god father...this baby...is going to have the best damn god mother around and u better believe he/she is going to be so spoiled, ever more spoiled than i was!! i just hope god has it in his heart to bless them with a child because they deserve it.
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| April |
[24 Apr 2005|01:25pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 mellow |
] |
| [ |
music |
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howie day - she says |
] |
April has been quite the month. went to a couple concerts w/ niki....saw the donnas & maroon 5 at UMass and then last night we saw Howie Day at assumption and next week is Fabolous, Nas, & Dropkick Murphy's. Wednesday I'm goin to see Dane Cook(again!) at Fitchburg State!! n then Guster is comin to UMass for Southwest week so that should be cool. Then in June momma dukes and i are goin to see Kevin James! comedy & music...doesn't get much better!
last week i got my wisdom teeth out...didn't go that bad, hardly any bleeding and only a little swelling in my left cheek because both of my teeth on the left side were impacted. i only took 5 of the 24 perks they gave me because they made me madd emotional. needless to say i made a shitload of $$ off of the extras at school...sold 13 pills in 25 minutes...that's just nuts...makes me wonder about the world of drug dealers haha. that was my one and only time as a drug dealer, it was fun for that 25 minutes, and that 25 minutes was MORE than enough.
came home again this weekend, i have been home FAR too much this month for my liking, it's spring time at UMass and i have already missed 2 weekends! that is two too many. i did get to spend some q.t. w/ j,cole though which was fun. kimmie c.'s party was madd fun from what i remember...i was beyond retarded that night. ross and javi fought which still makes my stomach turn because i will never know what REALLY happened because obviously people are gonna take sides. i missed the entire thing while i was outside on the phone. came in and saw everyone just yelling, girls crying, it was awful. those two were the last two i would have ever expected to fight, i think everyone was in shock. it sucks because it's like one of my best friends from home and one of my best friends at school...and now i feel like if i wanna have a party this summer there is gonna be tension between my friends from home and friends from school. hopefully it will all blow over because i really don't think there is anything i can say or do that can fix it...i hate conflict :o(
school is almost over! 23 more days til im home for the summer! i picked up 2 more shifts at The Woods so im basically going to be living there for the summer. that's ok, i've got lil kevy & hil to keep me company..he he heee. i only have 3 finals so that's pretty sweet...i'm hopin to pull off 2 As and 2 Bs this semester but entomology is kicking my assssss. fuckin bugs, WHO CARES ABOUT BUGS?!
k time to head back to school, i miss the zoo crew!!
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| time flies |
[11 Apr 2005|12:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
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-jump on it- sugar hill gang |
] |
*update*
been spending some quality time w. my best girl niki lately. we saw maroon 5 and The donnas last monday...awesome show. adam levine is a beautiful beautiful man and he is even more hot when he plays 3 instruments in one night! the real drummer for maroon 5 is cute too.
took my pysch test and my entomology tests last week...i'm so glad those are out of the way. now i just have to concentrate on chem & stats. i need to pull off at LEAST one A this semester! i only have 4 classes!
thursday was an awesome night. i went n surprised kaals for her bday at the woo state. her face was priceless and it couldn't have been better timing! me & javi made the long adventure, im glad he was there for the ride. got to see trisha & kimmy c. too! all went to the club n hung out at kevin's dorm and ed's dorm too. ed & kel, too cute. nicole & javi...non-existent. i reeeeally have to work on that :o| anyway, i didn't get any sleep whatsoever friday night for obvious reasons, therefore, i passed out friday night around 8:30 with every intention of only taking an hour long nap, and woke up at 10:30 saturday morning! oops! i didn't get to see shaunnie but i will hopefully be in good enough shape to see him this weekend before he leaves. i spent some q.t. w/ j.cole this weekend too...i missed him and his family so much. he hooked me up right w/ the UV tho. :o) always lookin out
saturday j.cole, SM, kyle, zach, k-diggs, & kimmy c. came up to visit! we had to split into two groups tho due some minor differences between a few people. courtney took her crew too curt fortins party and i took mine to phi sig. we had soo much fun...whitTitty was so happy to see all of them too. i got to witness javi dancing and making out with some girl for a good 45 minutes, lovely. whatever, having the burg there made up for it X 2938290843023. i saw vicki ameral and heather fletcher...RANDOM. i havent seen vicki all year and i saw her at the frat, so weird. kimmy c. was goin on 72 hours without sleep so obviously she was hilarious and delirious. im pretty sure everyone she met she let touch her brazilian wax lol - crazy crazy girl.
yesterday was by far the nicest day at UMass. days like yesterday r my reason for staying here. it was like hampton beach at the horseshoe. about 200 people just laying outside tanning, playing football, wiffleball,everything. frank and the football team brought the grill down and bbq'd for everyone. i stole madd buns from the d.c. and Blu made us the only double cheeseburgers! then we went to applebees for dinner w/ the slampigs minus sam. all in all, i have had a pretty productive week. now my mission is to keep this productivity going and ace my chem test on thursday. off to another psych experiment!
one more thing...i hate when my friends smoke weed and act like dumb bitches with that stupid "i'm so high" look on their face and then go and eat everyones fucking food but complain about getting fat. GET A LIFE.
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| j cole is hoooome! |
[05 Apr 2005|01:37am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 giggly |
] |
| [ |
music |
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the blower's daughter - damien rice |
] |
Deboj05 (12:59:12 AM): y wut makes them so differnt
RamBus04 (12:59:34 AM): i dont think i could love a guy who didnt
become my friend first...it;s like i NEED to get to know them before i
even put myself out there kinda thing...i think it comes down to fear
of rejection
RamBus04 (12:59:47 AM): and i figure if this way...they will still always be my friend
Deboj05 (1:00:13 AM): never saw it that way
RamBus04 (1:00:32 AM): how did u see it?
Deboj05 (1:01:09 AM): just that u got to take chances
Deboj05 (1:01:15 AM): but i agree
Deboj05 (1:01:31 AM): freinds make the best lovers
RamBus04 (1:02:51 AM): yup
RamBus04 (1:03:00 AM): i have trust issues
Deboj05 (1:03:42 AM): no u got rejection issues
RamBus04 (1:04:02 AM): lol BASICALLY!!!!
RamBus04 (1:04:19 AM): no but seriously i need to be able to figure
people out and be able to trust them be4 i make any moves...so if they
dont put forth any effort to let me get close to them i dont even bother
Deboj05 (1:05:56 AM): well nicole that was very well said
RamBus04 (1:06:17 AM): its the truth
Deboj05 (1:06:46 AM): i still think u should practice on zack <~ it's official....j.cole is back but still outta his mind!!!!
omg i can't stop smiling, i'm so glad my baby is hoooome!!!
but honestly...i think i have my problem figured out. now any suggestions on how to fix it?
And so it is,
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky
~damien rice
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| Bring on the chirping birds |
[02 Apr 2005|03:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 hungry |
] |
| [ |
music |
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car wash |
] |
spring time at UMass rocks my body.
Sunset needs to be that insane every weekend.
i suck at beer pong.
i twisted my ankle and practically broke my back.
uncooked ramen noodles taste like chips.
i hate dry clean only clothes.
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| oops..im smiling |
[31 Mar 2005|01:46am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 devious |
] |
aaron and his girlfriend broke up. he he heeeee. that lasted a whopping month. the end.
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[27 Mar 2005|10:34am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 bouncy |
] |
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music |
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time mcgraw- live like you were dying |
] |
so boston didn't go exactly as planned...see if we weren;t alcoholics we would have been there on time but since we had to do a packy run before we left we got there a wee bit late...only an hour and a half!! i had like two sips of mine and then realized what i had forgotten all along...i hate being drunk in big unfamiliar places/crowds when i don't know where i amn needless to say i gave mine to alicia n i was the only sober one. (europe was a total exception to this rule). we missed tyler hilton perform and a few others but we saw the wreckers who were awesome and tyler hilton performed a song with them so we at least got to see him and hear him once. anyway, after that we spent the rest of the night in south station waiting for sam's bus back to NYC because she HAD to go home friday night...she couldn't just wait until saturday morning as we had planned...seriously that was so annoying and rude. by the time we got back to melrose we were all dead and just decided to go home.
the highlight of my weekend of course was dinner with my best girl Stubbing last night! even though we were suspiciously missing our third leg we still had fun..."um i believe that caesar salad belongs to my friend here" lol...we really did want those damn salads --SHE'LL NEVER KNOW! :o)
then i finally got to hang out with kelsta last night! i hadn't seen that girl in sooo long. she gave me some good advice too...i hope i can act on it, damn i hope i can grow some balls lol. so cait also ventured out to our neck of the woods and me, kelly & courtney met up with her to go javi's party for a while. it was kinda cool seeing him outside of umass...i like it a lot. i love seeing how people interact with their friends from home, and he was the same ol fun loving javi. carlos & moises, however, get more and more beautiful every time i see them! anyway it's easter and it's time to go help the mom dukes. HaPPy EaStEr!
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[24 Mar 2005|10:36am] |
Spring Break '05 - UNFORGETTABLE!! i have never had sooo much fun! i think i have become addicted to traveling...i wanna go to Italy and Spain and England and most definitely back to Ireland. Holland was nuts! people are just all about business there, go go go, no time for "sorry" or "excuse me" but that place was definitely awesome. it seems that all the hott dutch boys work at the airports, kinda funny. we smoked some good weed (well only once but thats okay), drank some absinthe (didn't give us the effect we were going for), and saw the red light district and all te coffee shops. riding through the streets of amsterdam on bikes was one of the best experiences ever. we saw sooo much, all the leaning buildings, the house boats, the mercedes taxis, all the shops (oooh did we shop!!) and we basically did every single kind of transportation possible on this trip. we walked, rode bikes, rode in cars, in taxis, on busses, on planes, took the tram (kinda like the T but not underground), and the train!! we were in holland until wed. and then it was off to dublin for st. patty's day. on the way to ireland we met these cool kids ryan & blake from cali on our flight and we just sorta parted ways after we got off the plane and then randomly that night we met up with them at the same bar in dublin, crazy how that happens. irish people are so incredibly nice and there is nothing better than st. patty's day in ireland, we were drunk from 12:00 P.M. til 3:00A.M....met tons of people, spent rediculous amounts on money on alcohol, and just had the time of our lives. we saw the st. patrick's cathedral, trininty college, the bank of ireland, and did lots and lots of walking...most of the stuff we saw was through the bottom of a beer glass though haha. had so much fun with my girls and now it's only 5 more days until kimmy c. is hooooome! next years spring break is gonna be reeeally hard to top, i think i may try somewhere tropical next year. who knows, if i wanna have any money when i get outta school i may just wanna postpone my next spring break trip til, well never.
anyway it's soo good to be back at school...tomorrow night is a night out with the slampigs in boston to go see tyler hilton and michelle branch..can't wait!
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[07 Mar 2005|08:54pm] |
NotInMyHouse54 (6:41:21 PM): i love you buddy, that was the only time i smiled all weekend
--so much love for that boy...i'm glad he smiled, who knew what a card and some kettle corn could do for a person :oP
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| Sex and The City...or Sex and the SlamPigs |
[06 Mar 2005|01:37pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 amused |
] |
Last night was by far one of the funnest nights i have had since we got back to school. we were toooootally Sex and The City last night. Frank got us into Carmelinas which is usually a place where like 25 year olds go. anyway, we got all dressed up because it's kind of a classy place and we sat at the bar and ordered cosmo's all night and talked liked 25 year old women, it was honestly hilarious. we felt like V.I.P. because all the bouncers, Frank's friends, kept coming over and checking on us, making sure our drinks were alright and making sure we were having a good time. We met the head of P.R. for the place (like Samanatha on sex and the city except it was a guy) and he invited us back to the afterparty but by the time that rolled around Lil Sammy was hammered so we just brought her back and the four of us headed to the party in Leverett (a.k.a. the boonies). As usual, last night was another late night in 1718...i swear we don't go to bed until 6:00 a.m. EVERY weekend. we really need to work on that. i think we might just make this a Saturday night ritual, the 5 of us girls sittin at the bar drinkin cosmos...so funny.
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[05 Mar 2005|07:37pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Maroon 5 - Sunday Morning |
] |
countdown til europe = 5 days!!!! holland & ireland with my 2 favorite girls in the whole wide world!!!
as for now, to pass the time, the slam pigs (me court sam cait alicia & kelly) will continue their weekly routine of gettin hammered thursday & friday night, going to bed at 8 A.M. saturday morning, sleeping til 2 in the afternoon, watching episode and after episode of Sex and The City on Sam's fouton until around 6:30 when we make our trip to the d.c., and then off to the c-store to get some coffee, which of course serves more than one purpose...then 7:30 rolls around and we attempt to get ready, pre-game and then head out for another night of fun. i'm gonna miss this in the summer....i love my slam pigs!
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